I realize I am a raging hormonal mess but could you just stop already?

Mother,

Shut up about politics and abortion. If you can’t be bothered to learn about the candidates or to even GO FUCKING VOTE I don’t want to hear you bitch. And another thing, I get that  you don’t agree with abortion but guess what? I do. I think every female that needs or wants one should have access to them and oh my gravy I think they should be cheap or free!!!! Underage girls shouldn’t have to even inform their parents either!! If I were to (from whatever circumstances) get pregnant right now I would have an abortion. I can neither financially, emotionally, or physically handle being pregnant now or in the near future. I do believe that the asshats who are in charge or sex ed in schools should be doing a better job but so should parents. I will save the birth control rant for another time or my head might explode.

Your going to hell daughter

Dear child of mine,

I love you so much it hurts but if you don’t quit with the fucking whining ALL DAY LONG I am going to spontaniously combust. Please for the love of fishsticks quit it already.

Your frazzled mother

To the cute girl I am crushing on,

Quit with the smiles and big eyes already. If you are interested Fanfuckingtastic. Wanna grab lunch? See a movie? Have wild monkey sex? If you aren’t interested, aren’t sure I’m interested let me just say I am and if you aren’t then quit damnit!!!

The dork who is about to snap

Dear Ex (AKA asshole)

Really? Just really? Fuck you and go die in a fucking fire!

The mother of you child

Dear sex drive,

It is nice that you have decided to come roaring back to life but could you maybe tone it down just a smidge? I’m not compalining about the whole multiple orgasms while sleeping but I do have a limited amount of private “me” time. Of that private time I have to take care of things besides you.

That is all.

I am a very frustrated (in more than one way) frazzled, and raging person today. Too bad I already took last Friday off as a crazy day or I would probably take tomorrow. God I hope I am in a better mood tomorrow. Only 6 days of class left and I will only have to put up with myself all day for 3 weeks. I can’t wait.