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She decided to give her ex another chance. I think. Tomorrow she might have changed her mind again. I’m no longer stressing about it because I have other things to worry about. I can have a silly crush on her and still be friends with her. This way I don’t have to worry about fucking it all up either. Besides who really wants to be the rebound chick?
I have 2 tests next week and I’m nervous about them. I start going to the hospitals and having actual patients next month!!
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^^^This is what happens to my brain every time I think about the fact that maybe it’s a little something else, cause I kind of get the vibe that she might want to, but doesn’t know how I would feel about it and my poor brain really short-circuits now that she let me know that she kicked out her live-in boyfriend because they’ve been dead in the water for a while. I’m the asshole that was telling her that I was sorry that it didn’t work out and she shouldn’t be with him if he doesn’t treat her right and all those other nice things while an evil little part of my mind was doing cartwheels of glee. Yep, I’m an ass.
djakl;djskfjwaeoitjijaw
It would be a really bad idea right? Wouldn’t it? We are going to be around eachother for the next year and a half and what if I’m mistaken or what if I’m not and then it didn’t work out and it got all awkward and I am so not any good at this.
I think I will solve this dilemma the same way I solve most of my dilemmas. I will shove it in a tiny little box, shrink wrap and duct tape it and lock it in a quiet corner of the attic that is my mind and act like it doesn’t exist. When that no longer works for whatever reason I will make a sudden decision that I will carry out no matter what. That’s always worked out so well for me in the past.<<that would be sarcasm if you missed it.
Bad ideabad ideabad ideabad ideabadbadbadbadidea
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More goodness coming my way
The financial aid department sent me a lovely email today informing me THAT I GOT MY SCHOLARSHIP BACK!!!!!!!!!! So I will once again be able to afford those luxuries like a much needed trip to the dentist or those lovely pills that keep the stomach acid from eating a hole thrue my gastrointestinal tract. Or possibly an eye axam and new glasses since the last time I did that I had a 4 month old. Oops. I’m forgetful.
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1 down…4 to go
I made an A!!! Which is amazing because I didn’t feel like I studied nearly enough. I don’t expect to do that every time, but kicking ass on the first test has made me feel a lot better about the rest of the semester.
Now if this cold/flu/sinus crap that is eating my soul would just go away everything would be just peachy.
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P was sick all last week. Sunday I started feeling sick. So I had to drag myself to lab today despite the nausea, barely there voice and blindingly painful headache. I have my first test tomorrow. I’m probably not gonna do great on that, but I really can’t be assed to care right now. I just want to curl up in a corner and die.
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I just finished making all my study notes for my first test next week. I’m not overly nervous and I think that for the most part I will do OK as long as I don’t run into some unforseen problem. Of course I could be overly confident and bomb it completely, but I don’t think I will.
I’ve had no real issues with the coursework except for some online tutorial stuff that was ridiculously tedious and a waste of 12 hours of my life. For each little section you had to spend either 30 minutes or an hour going over and over the information/answering the questions. Which would have been fine if the tutorial had taken an hour to read/listen to and if the 5!! questions had taken 30 minutes to answer. Instead it took maybe 20 minutes to do the one and in one case less than 3 minutes for me to answer all 5 questions correctly. So yesterday I literally spent half the day clicking on random shit every 1 and a half minutes to keep it from timing me out. I read a LOT of fanfiction and spent a LOT of time on dozens of amusing websites that I had open in other tabs. It was a really long day.
Of course P has been sick since Tuesday when he got home from school and my mom had (minor) surgery Monday. So I was the ultimate great daughter/great mother combo and left my sick child with my under the weather mother so that I could go to class. My father was home (asleep) if they had any problems so I don’t feel too horribly bad about it.
Until last Friday I had been riding 10 miles a day on my bike. Then I took a day off, which has now turned into a week off. I was bored with biking anyway. So what can I try next? I don’t want to get lazy again.
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If I ever suggest to you that an outdoor concert at the end of August will be a good idea, please smack me upside the head. Although considering it was a benefit concert promoting domestic violence awareness maybe that would be in bad taste.
I spent 3 more hours in the sun than I thought I would so my sunblock was completely sweated away and I’m kinda burned. The 3rd band was setting up when we left tonight and there was another one after them. I would have stayed but I had P with me and so we left in time to get home only an hour and a half after his bedtime. I would’ve gone back after I got him home if I hadn’t been standing under the blazing sun since 12:30 today and it were a little closer.
I will have to do a LOT of studying and prep work for class tomorrow since I took a 100 mile road trip yesterday and spent all day today slacking. I was supposed to have a study session with C Monday after class but I wont have time since I’ll have to come home to get P from school.
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P starts his first day at his new school tomorrow. I’m not nervous at all, but for some reason my mother is a basket case about it. He is a little sad about leaving his old school, but I think after he meets his class he will be over it. Poor kid is too much like me and hates change. Even when it is for the better. I’ve got to buy him some different clothes since he doesn’t have to wear a uniform now. He’ll even get to ride the school bus if I can ever be a little less neurotic and let him.
I got a little panicky Friday night, but some wise person on the internet pointed out that perhaps I had been too busy all week to freak out and that since I had a lot of time to do nothing Friday I was thinking about it too much. So Saturday I made 3 pounds of fudge and several dozen chocolate chip cookies to keep my mind busy. I gave the fudge away. My parents are enjoying the cookies.
I spent today trying to get a little classwork done in between house stuff, family stuff, internet stuff and texting. It seems like everybody would not leave me alone today. Any way, I better go to bed. Have to make it through another loooong class tomorrow. Then the next day I have lab. Should be fun.
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Last night I had another one of those crazy dreams. I spent the majority of the dream walking around outside and inside a house looking for different things. My whole family, including people I haven’t seen in years, was there. Sometimes they helped me look for stuff and sometimes they distracted me from my search. There was also the family that lived in the house and they weren’t bothered in the least by the sheer volume of strangers overrunning their house and property.
Two of the more interesting things I found were a crab in a tarp covered room and my boobs on the back doorstep that was underwater because the tide had came in.
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Day 2
So she came in and sat right behind me in class this morning. Then we chatted at break and after we got out and she asked me to lunch. Then after lunch she asked if I’d like for her to come over to my house tomorrow and we could study together. I suggested we meet up somewhere tomorrow morning instead.
She’s cute, she’s funny, she curses like a sailor, and for some crazy reason she seems to want to be my friend. I guess despite the fact that I’ve had to pay eight hundred fucking dollars for books, school hasn’t gotten off to a bad start.
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