Losing it.

28Sep08

Has anybody seen my damned phone? It is tiny and pink and kind of ugly but if you find it could you please send it my way? I hate cell phones and rarely use mine but I do like to know where it is so that if I did needed it I could use it.

Another quick question for the night. Does Hellmark make a card that says “sorry I was a cunt but you kind of deserved it” or maybe “sorry I am a bitch but so are you”? No? What about ” I love you but could you please stop making me feel like such a complete and total fuck up?” Maybe just some flowers instead.

Since I know that my exciting life has you on the edge of your seat I will just spew for a few minutes. I can’t believe that classes start back this week. I don’t want to go. I am dreading the start of the quarter. I am losing confidence in my ability to do this.

Isn’t it supposed to get easier the older you get? A little bit? Anything? Throw me a bone here. Where is my contentment? Where is my mellow? I feel like I am the only one that isn’t in synch. I feel like I am the only one who is still a raving god damned lunatic and everyone else is normal. I feel like everything in my life shifted two feet to the left and I stayed put. Then whenever I try to do something all I can do is stub my toes and break things because I don’t fit know what the fuck I’m doing didn’t get the new floor plan.

I hate the way I feel and I wish it would quit.


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4 Responses to “Losing it.”  

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  1. 1 geodesia on September 30, 2008 said:

    Is somebody handing out mellow contentment? I want me some of that. I don’t know where to get it or where you phone is, but I do know for sure that everyone else is NOT normal.

    Reply
  2. 2 ordinaryfreak on September 30, 2008 said:

    That is one of those things that it just seems like everyone else is better at faking it or something. I found my fugly little phone. If you do get a line on some mellow or contentment (or hell on both) share the wealth. I need some today. Classes start back tomorrow and I am an anxious mess.

    Reply
  3. 3 slurredpress on October 2, 2008 said:

    “I feel like I am the only one that isn’t in synch.”

    You’re not the only one, I promise. Sometimes I feel like the world is full of people who fit snugly into two categories:

    1. Those who admit they are lost.
    2. Those that pretend they aren’t lost.

    Reply
  4. 4 ordinaryfreak on October 2, 2008 said:

    :-) I don’t just admit I’m lost. I send out emails and scream it from rooftops and if I had any extra money I would hire an airplane to drag around a big banner. It does make me feel better when other people admit their lives aren’t as perfect as they seem.

    Reply

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